Arnold Schwarzenegger Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger 1000 X 1000 Pixls
| The Terminator | |
| | |
| Release Date | March 03, 2021 |
| Running Time | 23:27 |
| Previous Review | Strange Magic |
| Next Review | Terminator 2: Judgment Day |
| Link | http://channelawesome.com/the-terminator-nostalgia-critic/ |
(The Channel Awesome logo is shown.)
(We see a huge flame, behind which emerges a two-faced figure. One side is the T-1000 and the other is NC. Then two sliding doors slam closed with the words "TERMONTHNATOR MONTH" written on it. All of this is set to the Terminator theme.)
(We cut to NC.)
NC: Hello, and welcome to "Terminator Month"! ..."nator".
(After an awkward pause, we cut to the title again, but with "-NATOR" scratched out, with the word "MONTHNER" written above it, and the word "-NATOR" added to "MONTH" below.)
NC (vo): Its working title.
NC: Like a lot of you, I had a fascination with these movies.
(Icons for the first two movies in the series are shown.)
NC (vo): From the first two entertaining and groundbreaking films...
(Icons of the rest of the films in the franchise are shown: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Terminator Salvation, Terminator Genisys and Terminator: Dark Fate.)
NC (vo): ...to the other ones.
NC: (holds up two fingers) But those first two films left such an impact, it's hard not to still be invested.
NC (vo): Arguably Arnold [Schwarzenegger]'s most famous role, the story of a killer machine arriving from the future may not be the most mind-blowing, but the characters, stunts, action and performances make it one of the most iconic. Often quoted, satirized, and paid homage to, the Terminator movies have inspired a lot in terms of effects, style and overall attitude.
T-800: I'll be back.
(A montage of pop culture films and TV is shown, depicting various characters saying the classic three-word phrase: "I'll be back.")
NC (vo): You know how after Star Wars, every film was doing something similar, or after the Marvel movies, everybody was copying the same thing? The early Terminator films were the same. Suddenly, a lot of sci-fi was about stopping an evil future. Everybody had black coats and shades. Killer robots were suddenly all over the place. Most of them had that metallic blue tint. And by God, liquid metal...
(A clip of the CapriSun "Liquid Cool" commercials is shown, showing kids formed from liquid.)
NC (vo): ...practically ruled the '90s.
(The kids in the commercial, having drunk the advertised product, suddenly turn back into liquid and fall into puddles. A nearby man freaks out, screaming.)
NC: But all this began with the little movie that killed, with James Cameron's original The Terminator.
(The title for The Terminator is shown, followed by footage of the movie.)
NC (vo): Released in 1984 on a budget of only 6 1/2 million, Terminator was a surprise hit that surprised nobody more than its main villain, Schwarzenegger. He was originally called in to play Michael Biehn's role as others were considered for the deadly machine, including (shots of the following are superimposed) Mel Gibson, Sylvester Stallone, and even O.J. Simpson, who was turned down because Cameron didn't believe he could be a convincing killer.
(NC smiles and bats his eyes.)
NC (vo): When Cameron met Arnold, though, he instantly saw him in the role. Arnold was hesitant, though, because he didn't want to play an emotionless robot. (cut to photos of Arnold in Conan the Destroyer being superimposed) He arguably had been playing that enough already! But he agreed, saying the film was underground enough that if it failed, it wouldn't hurt his rising star too much. Not only was it a hit, though, it was a hit that led to sequels, spin-offs, countless merchandise, and cemented Arnold as one of the most iconic movie stars of all time. But with so many years having gone by, does the film still hold up? Or is it a case of the right audience at the right time?
NC: Well, let's take a look and see if this is still a sci-fi classic. This is The Terminator!
NC (vo): We open in the very modally-looking future of 2029. Man, Biden's stimulus was too much.
NC: And if you think that joke is instantly dated, take a listen to the opening music!
(Said music is dark, 1980s ambient music.)
NC (vo): So...
NC: ...one of the interesting things about the Terminator films is they're mostly timeless.
NC (vo): There's little hints of the time period it was made in, of course, but for the most part, you can put on any of them and not guess right away when they were made.
NC: Except for this one! (points to camera)
NC (vo): The '80s is dripping off this like a Reaganomics episode of He-Man.
NC: But it's surprisingly not a bad thing here.
NC (vo): The part of the '80s being focused on is not as much the bright colors and upbeat songs; it's more the dark, gritty, rebelliously unshaven side you don't usually see as much in the (an image of 80s wear is superimposed) '80s section of Halloween stores. It fittingly adds to the film's atmosphere rather than distracts.
(A scene from the 2017 version of It is shown.)
NC (vo): The opposite of flicks like...
Beverly Marsh: What are you listening to? (puts on Ben's headphones) New Kids on the Block.
(A text in cyan, magenta, and yellow appears on the screen and shakes around as it does, with NC reading it in a deep voice...)
NC (vo): WE TAKE PLACE IN THE 80S!!!
NC: (exasperated) Okay, God!
(Back to The Terminator, where electrical impulses are zapping a garbage truck. The driver looks out to see what's causing the zapping and gets out and runs off.)
NC (vo) (as the truck driver): Whoa, I'm a black guy in a film about a killer. I know what happens to me.
(The T-800 appears and stands up, shirtless)
NC (vo): Weather calls for 60% chance naked Austrians.
(The camera then shows him walking along, completely naked, but his genitalia is digitally covered with a cut-out of Mr. Freeze's head. The Beavis and Butthead "Boing!" sound effect plays simultaneously.)
NC (vo): Oh! I guess it's a 100 percent chance.
NC: (nods) Dude, he really was Mr. Universe.
(A group of street punks spot the T-800 coming toward them.)
Punk: Nice night for a walk, eh?
NC (vo): He approaches a street gang, led by Cameron favorite Bill Paxton, who I think is challenging him to a gap-off.
Punk: (pulling a switchblade on the Terminator) Fuck you, asshole!
(The T-800 goes all out on the gang.)
Private Hudson: (from Aliens) (dubbing over the punk) Game over, man!
NC: Not gonna lie. I always like to think he went home and became Chet, making Weird Science an unofficial sequel, and, I would argue, the most diverse of the Terminator films.
(The scene cuts to the telephone scene from Weird Science.)
Gary: What this boy talkin' 'bout on the telephone, man?!
Fats: Explain it to him!
Gary: Well, damn, Fats! Goddamn! We know there's a telephone!
NC: I wouldn't win that argument, but I'd make it just because it's funny.
(We get shown Kyle Reese arriving in an alleyway in a similar fashion to the Terminator.)
NC (VO): Once he gets covered up, another visitor from the future arrives: Kyle Reese, played by Michael Biehn. One of the things I immediately enjoy watching this again is how much like an 80s comic book it is. Sometimes it's a little jarring, like Arnold punches a guy and it awkwardly cuts to him just on the ground, lifeless, (comic book panels are shown alongside footage) but if you imagine the angles and cuts like comic book panels, it really captures that 80s style of...what's a good name for it? Dirty shadows. Yeah, I like that. It kind of sounds like a Tim Burton porno spoof. (shows a poster for "Tim Hardon's Dirty Shadows)
(Reese runs up to a very intoxicated bum.)
Bum: (drunkenly slurring) Hey, buddy. Did you just see a real bright light...?
(An LAPD police car passes by as a glare illuminates Reese putting some pants on. A police officer chases Reese down the alley.)
NC (vo): (as cop) I smell someone stealing pants down here. (normal) No, seriously, how did this chase start?
(Reese manages to elude the police.)
NC (vo): He gets away and we're introduced to Sarah Connor, played by Linda Hamilton. She's a waitress who talks to restaurant statues...
Sarah: Guard it for me, big buns.
NC: ...so there's that...
(We get shown the Terminator in one of the punks' clothes.)
NC (vo): ...and she's been hunted down by the Terminator, who---
(We see that the Terminator's overcoat is designed with leather and rhinestones.)
NC (vo): (laughing) What is up with that jacket?
NC: I mean, I know it's the 80s, but that looks like...
(We see the T-800 walking, intercut with a photo of a janitor's outfit, and a photo of a "Disco Stu" jacket from The Simpsons.)
NC (vo): ...a janitor uniform got surprise-ironed by the Disco Stu coat! How is it people mock the glasses in [Terminator] 3, but this gets a free pass?!
(The T-800 breaks into a car.)
NC (vo): While he soft borrows a ride, we're shown that Sarah doesn't exactly have the world's greatest job.
(A little kid spoons a scoop of sherbet into her dress; Sarah is not pleased.)
Waitress: Look at it this way; in a hundred years, who's gonna care?
(The sentence "100 years later..." is shown, before we cut to a skull from the opening scene.)
NC (vo): (as the skull) I still feel bad about that ice cream thing... strange thing to think about, being a skull.
(The T-800 enters a gun shop.)
NC (vo): The Terminator enters a gun shop run by--
(We're shown the gun store owner.)
NC (vo): Oh. Dick Miller. That's nice, I rarely see him in cult 80s movies.
T-800: The Uzi 9mm.
Gun store owner: (setting the gun on the counter) You know your weapons, buddy. Any one of these is ideal for home defense.
NC: You know, I've never owned a gun shop, but is it to...
NC (vo): ...show off your guns so close to the ammo?
(The T-800 blows the shop owner away.)
NC (vo): See you in Gremlins.
(The T-800 is then shown in a phone booth.)
NC (vo): He loads up and gets ready to axe off every Sarah Connor in the L.A. area.
(The T-800 appears at the house of one of the women named Sarah Connor.)
T-800: Sarah Connor?
(It is not the same Sarah Connor we were shown earlier. Instead, it is a 35-year-old housewife.)
Housewife: Yes...
(The T-800 forces himself in.)
NC (vo): (as housewife) ...terday she was here, I'm Susan! In fact, no hablo ingles!
(The T-800 kills her.)
NC (vo): It doesn't take long to figure out there's a few less Sarah Connors in L.A. today.
(We're shown Hamilton's Sarah and her fellow waitresses watching the news.)
Newscaster: ...brutally shot to death in her home this afternoon. Once again, Sarah Connor...
(A scene from The Big Lebowski is shown.)
Donny: That's your name, dude.
(We're shown a clip of Sarah and her roommate Ginger.)
NC (vo): This doesn't bother her too much, as she gets on her totally-not-Jetsons-shirt... (camera zooms in on Sarah's T-shirt) George has red hair, they're completely different people. And gets a phone call meant for her roommate.
Matt: (thinking he's talking to Ginger on the phone) First, I'm gonna rip the buttons off your blouse, one by one...
Sarah: (pretending to be insulted) Who is this?
(Matt realizes who he was talking to.)
Matt: Sarah?
(Sarah giggles at his realization.)
NC: I'm not gonna lie, as entertaining as this all is, I am just fascinated by the...
(Camera zooms in on Matt's Albert Einstein tank top, before being shown a clip of the Terminator walking intercut with a photo of a Goodwill store.)
NC (vo): ...clothing choices in this movie. An Einstein tank top, it's like they're getting their money at the Goodwill FOR Goodwill!
(We're then shown the police.)
Lt. Traxler: Sarah Ann Connor, secretary, 35, shot six times.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, at the police station, a detective discusses the impressive pile of Sarah Connors lining up. He's played by Lance Henriksen...
NC: ...who you may want to thank for this entire franchise.
(A poster of The Terminator is shown, followed by a picture of Henriksen from Stone Cold and another from Hard Target.)
NC (vo): You see, one of the possible financers didn't think the idea of the Terminator was very scary, so Cameron had Henriksen dress up like the character, kick open his door, and sit down at the guy's desk. When he asked if that scared him, he replied "Hell, yes!" and agreed to the movie.
(We're shown a clip of Henriksen's character, Hal Vukovich, talking with Lt. Traxler.)
NC (vo): Henriksen, of course, didn't play the part, so Cameron made it up to him by casting him as an android in Aliens.
(Images of Henriksen's Aliens character, Bishop, are shown.)
NC (vo): I'm sure he loved it.
(Back to the movie, Sarah and Ginger get dressed for a night out.)
Ginger: Better than mortal man deserves.
NC: (imitating Sarah) It's a look that says...
(Sarah's outfit is shown, intercut with a photo of Gillian Taylor from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.)
NC (vo): "I should be helping a starship find whales".
(Sarah walks to the door.)
NC (vo): Gotta give credit, this is one of the few good fake-outs I've actually seen in a horror movie.
(Sarah opens the door, turns around, and is spooked by Matt standing right behind her.)
NC (vo): It's legit creepy because the past women were killed at the door, but her roommate also has a date, so it works as a jump, and totally legitimate reason for this scene to exist.
NC: Also, this is a little creepy.
(Matt sneaks a teasing kiss on Sarah as she leaves.)
NC: Dude, this isn't Baskin Robbins; you don't sample a woman and pick another one!
NC (vo): As much as I love that first fake-out, though, this one's seems a little silly.
(Ginger is spooked when a couple of items fall on top of her; Sarah's pet iguana Pugsley is lurking on top of the fridge.)
Ginger: Pugsley, shoo!
NC: What, were we supposed to assume Arnold was dropping snacks for a minute?
(A cut-out of the T-800 from the poster appears sideways on the fridge.)
NC (vo): (mocking an audience reaction) "I thought he'd be on top of the fridge!"
(The T-800 does indeed show up and murder Ginger and Matt.)
NC (vo): He does end up taking her and the boyfriend out, only to discover neither of them were Sarah Connor.
(The T-800 is alerted to the phone ringing, and then Ginger's voice from the answering machine. The T-800 searches her body.)
Ginger: Hi, there. (chuckles) Fooled you, you're talking to a machine. It's okay, machines need love too.
NC (vo): (as the T-800) I had no idea you were a romantic; if you're still alive, we could do it. Wait, what if I'm John's father?!
(Sarah's voice can be heard from the answering machine, catching the T-800's attention.)
Sarah: Ginger, this is Sarah, pick up if you're there!
NC (vo): (as the T-800) Oh. I guess that makes more sense. (normal voice) Sarah calls the police at a local club and finally gets through.
Sarah: I don't want to leave, I think there's a guy following me.
Lt. Traxler: Don't go outside or even use the restroom, I'll have a car for you in a hot minute.
Sarah: Okay.
NC: Sadly, a hot minute in California means 3 hours.
NC (vo): Naturally, the Terminator finds her first and invites himself in.
(The club's bouncer tries to restrain the T-800, but he knuckles the man's hand down.)
NC (vo): (as club guard) Don't worry, Lou, I'll get him by climbing up his ass. (normal) Seriously, where did she go?
(The T-800 aims a gun at Sarah's head.)
NC (vo): He spots her NOT exactly having the fastest reflexes.
(Reese bursts them when the citizens scatter away.)
NC (vo): But Reese stops and tries to get her to safety.
(Reese grabs Sarah's wrist.)
Reese: (to Sarah) Come with me if you want to live.
NC: (sighs) Stealing from (shows a photo of...) Casper. Low.
(We then cut to commercial break. When we return, Sarah and Reese are running in an alley.)
NC (vo): Reese gets Sarah out, but the Terminator steals a cop car to chase them.
T-800: (with the voice of the previous driver) This is 1L-19, westbound on Olympic, approaching Overland.
NC (vo): (as T-800) I did that well. (as cop on the other end of the radio) What's that, Rick? (as T-800) Oh. Uh, you weren't supposed to hear that, um... shoot yourself. (as other cop) Well, okay, Rick, if you say so. (a gunshot can be heard)
(Sarah and Reese escape into a parking garage.)
NC (vo): They hide out in a parking garage, as Reese explains that he's there to protect her from the killer cyborg.
Reese: The Terminator's an infiltration unit, microprocessor-controlled.
NC (vo): (as Reese) We think he has Intel Pentium insides.
Reese: Flesh, skin, hair...
NC: ...Austrian accent, it's designed to blend in!
NC (vo): After several times trying to escape, Sarah finally goes along with what he's saying.
Sarah: Can you stop it?
Reese: I don't know.
NC: (as Reese) I mean, I'm from the future, and, like, 10 of these have been sent back, so I'm assuming it's possible.
NC (vo): He lets her know that the reason she's targeted is because she'll be carrying a child who will grow up into the freedom fighter who will lead the resistance against the machines.
Reese: Defense network computers, trusted to run it all. They say it got smart; a new order of intelligence.
NC: (as Reese) Look, just take this pamphlet: "QAnon 'N You".
(A paper is shown; it says "QAnon 'N You, your qrazy guide to good times. Satan worshipping cannibal deep-staters not enough? Try Austrian killer robots FROM THE FUTURE. Come astray with us.")
NC: It also talks about how the lizard people are on the rise.
(The police are shown arriving; a scene later, Reese is being interviewed by a psychologist.)
NC (vo): They lose him, but the real police show up and Sarah says they're outgunned. And, I'm sorry, why are people from the future always dumbasses?!
Reese: Skynet had to wipe out his entire existence! Connor sent me to intercept and they blew the whole place.
(A photo is shown from Twelve Monkeys.)
NC (vo): At least in something like Twelve Monkeys, they clarify time travel can mess with you mentally, but in these films, there's always an idiot who thinks if they tell the truth, everyone will believe them. The only bit of fun comes from everyone's reaction to him.
Dr. Silberman: I could make a career out of this guy.
Vukovich: This is fucking great.
Sarah: So Reese is crazy?
Dr. Silberman: In technical terminology... he's a loon!
NC: I believe the official term is "cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs".
Lt. Traxler: Sarah, this is what they call body armor. Our attack guys wear these.
NC (vo): (as Lt. Traxler) "It stops bullets. Do you know what bullets are, Sarah?" (normal) While the definition of mansplaining is explored, the Terminator fixes his eye at a nearby hotel.
(The T-800 wipes his blood from a small towel, showing the enormous robotic eye at the screen.)
NC: These effects are a little dated now, but given the time and budget they had, They're pretty mind-blowing.
NC (vo): Creating a robotic head that's supposed to look human both close up and in medium shots was pretty damn ambitious. And, let's face it, it still looks better than (shows a photo of The Rock in "The Mummy Returns") a CGI Rock.
(The T-800 arrives at the police station.)
T-800: I'm a friend of Sarah Connor.
NC (vo): This is followed by him entering the station requesting to see Connor.
T-800: I'll be back.
NC: (sighs) Now, they're stealing from (shows a photo of Arnold in...) Last Action Hero. Is nothing sacred?
NC (vo): Of course, this line wouldn't mean much if it didn't have a memorable follow-up.
(The T-800 crashes his car through the police station doors and into the front desk.)
NC (vo): (as the desk sergeant) Sorry, sir, the drive-through's in the back.
(The T-800 goes on a killing spree.)
NC (vo): He shoots up the place, but Reese escapes, helping Sarah get out alive. They hide under a bridge when their car runs out of gas.
(Reese notices Sarah shivering.)
Reese: You cold?
Sarah: Freezing.
NC (vo): (as Sarah) Being nighttime in L.A., it is 70 degrees. (normal) He gives her his coat and she mends his wounds as they make small talk.
Sarah: Tell me about my son.
Reese: He has your eyes.
Sarah: What's he like?
NC: (as Reese) Grumpy. He likes to yell at DPs a lot.
(audio from Christian Bale's on-set rant from "Terminator Salvation" is played)
Bale: The FUCK are you doing?!
(A scene involving the future is shown.)
NC (vo): This triggers a... kinda-flashback, I mean, this does technically happen in the future, where he remembers surviving with one of the last armies of humans.
(A child pretends to shoot at Reese. Reese jokingly aims his gun at the kid; a gunshot sound effect is dubbed over.)
NC: They were very strict.
NC (vo): This cracked me up the first time I saw it.
(Two kids are shown in front a television with a fire inside.)
NC (offscreen): (in a higher voice) So what's on the TV today--
NC: It's ALWAYS FIRE!
(A soldier holds up a rat.)
NC (vo): Ooh, a "Demolition Man" dinner!
(Reese unfolds a faded photo of Sarah.)
NC (vo): He looks over a picture of Connor just before a Terminator breaks in and shoots up the place, causing the picture to burn.
(Reese watches the photo bubbling in flames.)
NC: So, I'm kinda torn on this, because these scenes are almost pointless.
NC (vo): What I mean is, the picture is important because it shows that time is a never-ending loop by the end, (shows a clip from "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines") which, granted, is nuked pretty fast in the sequels, but a part of me thinks the films would've been creepier if we never saw the future. If it was just these two chasing each other, we see the machine at the end, and we had to put together what the future looks like just based on this image, our imaginations could fill in how terrifying it could be. However, with the semi-low-budget look, showing the future does legitimize it a bit. No matter how convincing Biehn is, it could still come across as cheap if Armageddon was only based on his performance. It's a moot point, because you have to see it in the sequels anyway, but I always wondered if it would be scarier if the future was never seen. Then again, it does distract from odd lines like this.
(Sarah is shown waking up in Reese's arms.)
Sarah: I was dreaming about dogs.
Reese: We use them to spot Terminators.
NC: (as Reese) And we occasionally watched them instead of TV, though sometimes the fire really was on fire.
NC (vo): Just as they find themselves a motel, the Terminator is leaving his, leading to easily the funniest scene in the movie.
(A janitor knocks on the door.)
Janitor: You got a dead cat in there or what?
(We get a view of the T-800's vision and its selection of responses, including "Yes/no", "Or what?", "Go away", "Please come back later", "Fuck you, asshole", and "Fuck you". It settles on "Fuck you, asshole.")
T-800: Fuck you, asshole.
NC: It's a special moment when you find someone else who also uses that as their ringtone.
(The Critic's phone starts going off. The ringtone is the T-800 saying "Fuck you, asshole". The Critic answers it.)
NC: Hello? You were calling just to make that joke work? Thank you. (hangs up)
(The film shows Sarah and Reese in the motel room.)
NC (vo): Sarah can't help but wonder though, is there a Mrs. "Come-with-me-if-you-want-to-live?"
Sarah: Was there someone special?
Reese: "Someone"?
Sarah: A girl, you know?
Reese: No.
NC (vo): (as Reese) They could never get over my fake scar falling off.
(Camera zooms in on Reese's lower chin.)
NC (vo): Good luck not noticing that every time you watch this scene.
Reese: John Connor gave me a picture of you once. I came across time for you, Sarah. I love you, I always have.
NC: So their romance is pretty sporadic...
NC (vo): They've only known each other for a day, and he's already confessing his love...
Reese: I love you, I always have.
(A scene from "Enchanted" is shown.)
Prince Edward: We shall be married in the morning!
NC (vo): ...but the adrenaline of the situation, I guess, kinda fuels it, though, looking at a picture every day, saying "one day I'm going to bang my commander's mother" still comes across as a strange meet-cute.
(They both have sex in the bed, set to romantic piano music.)
NC (vo): They share a night of passion, but the Terminator finds them, pretending to be Sarah's mother...
(The T-800 is shown on the phone in Sarah's mother's cabin.)
T-800: (with Sarah's mother's voice) I love you, too, sweetheart.
NC: To be fair, a lot of women think their mothers are emotionless machines.
(A road chase soon follows.)
NC (vo): ...however, they steal a car to escape, outwitting him.
(The T-800 hears a truck horn and stares towards the camera, showing his half-robotic face. A semi-truck comes barreling towards him. An edited sign saying "Eep." appears next to the T-800 as he is run over by the semi.)
NC (vo): The T-800 steals the truck to try and run them over, but they throw a bomb into the tailpipe, blowing up their rear projection.
(The truck explodes with the T-800 inside it. A jarring mix of actual footage and badly done rear-projection is shown of the truck exploding.)
NC: One of the great things about Cameron movies is they often have a surprise climax.
(The Terminator is shown, engulfed in flames.)
NC (vo): And it arguably started with Terminator, as it really feels like the fight is over; they even showed off what you would assume was left of their effects budget. But that just makes it all the more terrifying when this happens.
(The T-800 emerges from the burning flames. All of its skin is burned off, revealing a menacing-looking metal endoskeleton. A scene from The Producers is shown.)
Leo: No way out. No way out. No way out.
NC (vo): It's freaky as hell when you find out not only is it not dead, but that it's a metal skeleton with an evil brow! An evil brow, like one of the skeletons from (shows a photo of a skeleton from...) Army of Darkness! What kind of sicko machines would put that on there?!
(Reese and Sarah run through an automotive factory; the T-800 follows them, animated with very dated and poorly-done stop-motion.)
NC: But, okay, the stop motion does take down the fear factor a little bit.
NC (vo): I love the creepy movement stop-motion usually has, but this moves like Jack Skellington just discovered eggnog. It's a little silly-looking.
(The T-800 breaks through the door.)
NC (vo): (as T-800) Have you heard the good news? Skynet saves.
(Reese jams a bomb into the T-800's armored pelvic area.)
NC (vo): (as T-800) You replaced my penis. How kind.
(The T-800 explodes.)
NC (vo): (as T-800) Mine didn't do that. Usually...
(footage of Arnold Schwarzenegger in an interview is shown.)
Arnold: I'm getting the feeling of coming in the gym, I'm getting the feeling of coming at home, so I'm coming day and night.
(Sarah comes across Reese lying on the ground; he is dead.)
NC (vo): Thus begins the Michael Biehn Death Curse.
NC: Don't worry, Mikey. People will know you beat Sean Bean's record someday. (shows a meme that says "Michael Biehn died 33 times")
NC (vo): But even then, the machine's not dead.
(The T-800 springs upward, crawls over Reese's dead body, pursuing Sarah.)
Black Knight: (from Monty Python and the Holy Grail) (dubbing over the T-800) I'll bite your legs off!
Sarah: You're terminated, fucker!
NC (vo): She finally gets him in the just the right spot and smashes him flat.
(Sarah activates the hydraulic press, crushing the T-800 and finally defeating it.)
Black Knight: (from Monty Python and the Holy Grail) (dubbing over the T-800) All right. We'll call it a draw.
(Sarah, now pregnant, is shown arriving at a Mexican gas station.)
NC (vo): As you probably put together, Sarah is now pregnant with Reese's son, who will be the savior of the future, and... well, there just aren't that many mommy books about that.
(A Mexican boy takes a picture of Sarah and speaks Spanish to her.)
Sarah: What did he say?
NC (vo): He says, even though he's 4-foot-nothing, he somehow got a high-angle picture of you.
Gas station attendant: He said there's a storm coming in.
Sarah: I know.
NC (vo): (as Sarah) It's the box office returns for Dark Fate.
NC: And that was The Terminator. It's very 80s, but it's very awesome!
(clips from the film are shown)
NC (vo): When you consider one of the most expensive films of that decade was Rambo III at 63 million and this only cost 6.5 million, it's amazing this film turned out as well as it did. I have no problem believing Arnold is a killer machine; Cameron even said the accent added an almost synthesized quality, like the machines hadn't quite gotten the voice thing figured out. The characters aren't Shakespeare, but they're likeable enough; plus, there's so many quotable lines, suspenseful moments, and unforgettable imagery. If T2 is the Fury Road of this franchise, this is certainly the original Mad Max: more gritty and low-budget, but going above and beyond with what they had. Can it be corny? Sure, but that's part of the fun. And it balances out with the more gory and intense moments. It has the charm of a low-budget passion project, but the feel of a big-budget Hollywood epic. It's one-of-a-kind and deserves to be looked at if you haven't already.
NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and Termonthnator Month day has just begun! (he gets up and leaves)
Channel Awesome tagline – Sarah: I was dreaming about dogs.
(The credits roll)
| The Nostalgia Critic Transcripts | |
|---|---|
| 2008: | Transformers · Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue · Cloverfield Trailer Review · Power Rangers: A Look Back · Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movies · The Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments · Super Mario Bros.: The Movie · Cloverfield Review · Street Fighter · Mortal Kombat · Space Jam · The Nerd Rant · The Nerd Rant Part 2 · Pokémon The First Movie · The Nerd Wizard Rant · The Wizard · The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs · Batman & Robin · The Top 11 Catchiest Theme Songs · '90s Sports Montage · The Nerd Response…Response · The Top 11 Drug PSAs · The Battle of Epic Proportions · Captain Planet · Double Dare · 3 Ninjas · Top 11 Hottest Animated Women · Video Game Review · The Search for the Nostalgia Chick · He-Man and the Masters of the Universe · Follow That Bird · Saved By the Bell · Tom and Jerry: The Movie · Top 11 Saddest Moments · Nostalgia Chick Winner · Surf Ninjas · NC vs The Nerd Showdown · Top 11 Nostalgic Animated Shows · Kazaam · The Nerd vs. NC: The Final Battle · Off to Beat the Nerd · Drew Struzan Tribute · Halloween '08 Special · Double Dragon · Top 11 Underrated Nostalgic Classics · Howard the Duck · Mortal Kombat: Annihilation · Godzilla · Top 11 Disney Villains · The Super Mario Bros. Super Show · Top 12 Greatest Christmas Specials · Jingle All the Way |
| 2009: | Nicktoons · Nickcoms · SNICK · Good Burger · The Making of the Final Battle · Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest · A Kid in King Arthur's Court · The Good Son · The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog · Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks · Twister · Garbage Pail Kids · Rock-A-Doodle · Titanic - The Legend Goes On · The Pagemaster · The NeverEnding Story · Moonwalker · Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments · TMNT · Red Sonja · TGWTG Team Brawl · Short Circuit 1 & 2 · Batman vs. The Dark Knight · Full House · North · Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells · Sidekicks · Gargoyles · Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen · Steel · Top 11 Cereal Mascots · Barb Wire · New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings · Last Action Hero · Captain N · We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story · Warriors of Virtue · Captain America · Top 11 F*ckups · Alone in the Dark · Blank Check · Old vs. New: Willy Wonka · Cool as Ice · Suburban Commando · Next Karate Kid · Casper · Superman IV · Congo · Siskel and Ebert Tribute · Judge Dredd · Tank Girl · Jack Frost · He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special · Next Best Christmas Specials · Star Wars Holiday Special · Ernest Saves Christmas |
| 2010: | Commando · Junior · Conan and Conan the Destroyer · End of Days · Battlefield Earth · Bebe's Kids · Lost in Space · Top 11 Villain Songs · Quest for Camelot · Old vs. New: Nutty Professor · Bio-Dome · NeverEnding Story II · Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments · Flubber · Home Alone 3 · Old vs. New: King Kong · Drop Dead Fred · The Care Bears Movie · Kickassia: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 · Jaws 3 · Free Willy · A Troll in Central Park · Theodore Rex · Top 11 Coolest Cliches · Hook · Independence Day · The Room · The Phantom · Zeus and Roxanne · Animaniacs Tribute · Flintstones Movie · Mr. Nanny · Rocky IV · Chairman of the Board · Next Top 11 NC Fuckups · Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw · Pebble and the Penguin · Ernest Scared Stupid · Top 11 Scariest Performances · IT · Leprechaun · My Pet Monster · Commercial Special · Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs. Prince of Egypt · The Thief and the Cobbler · Waterworld · Little Monsters · Rover Dangerfield · You're a Rotten Dirty Bastard · The First Couple: TMNT |
| 2011: | NeverEnding Story III · Ferngully 2 · Secret of NIMH 2 · Care Bears 2 · Dungeons and Dragons · Top 11 Dumbest Spider-Man Moments · The Lost World: Jurassic Park · Return of the Nostalgic Commercials · Inspector Gadget · Old vs. New: The Karate Kid · The Langoliers · Airborne · Baby Geniuses · Raiders of the Story Arc: X-Men · The Magic Voyage · Double Team · Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress · Jaws: The Revenge · Gordy · The OTHER Animated Titanic Movie · Revenge of the Nostalgic Commercials · Once Upon a Forest · Little Nemo · Old vs. New: True Grit · Suburban Knights: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 · Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon · Milk Money · Rad · Raiders of the Story Arc: Duck Tales · Care Bears in Wonderland · Cop and a Half · Top 11 Batman TAS Episodes · Alaska · Let's Play Bart's Nightmare · James and the Giant Peach · The Avengers · Simon Sez · The Tommyknockers · The Haunting · Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows · Exorcist 2 · Doug's 1st Movie · The Cell · Raiders of the Story Arc: Superman · Felix the Cat · Moulin Rouge · Babes in Toyland · How the Grinch Stole Christmas · Child's Play |
| 2012: | Santa Claus: The Movie · Star Trek: The Motion Picture · Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock · Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier · Star Trek 7: Generations · Star Trek 9: Insurrection · Patch Adams · Ponyo · Dunston Checks In · Thomas and the Magic Railroad · Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups Part 3 · Richie Rich · Jungle 2 Jungle · Old vs. New: Manhunter vs. Red Dragon · Star Chaser · Transformers Cartoon · A Simple Wish · Alien Resurrection · Jack · Heavy Metal · Mr. Magoo · Top 11 Simpsons Episodes · Signs · Digimon: The Movie · Top 11 F*** YEAH Movie Themes · Baby Geniuses 2 · Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom · The Wiz · Total Recall (with Sci-Fi Guy) · Scooby-Doo · To Boldly Flee: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 · NC's Top 11 Favorite Jokes · The WORST Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed |
| 2013: | The Review Must Go On · The Odd Life of Timothy Green · Pearl Harbor · Son of the Mask · The King and I · Catwoman · The Cat in the Hat · Top 11 South Park Episodes · Jurassic Park · A.I. Artificial Intelligence · The Master of Disguise · Turbo - A Power Rangers Movie · Top 11 Dumbest Lord of the Rings Moments · Sailor Moon · Les Miserables · Top 11 Adult Jokes We Never Got as Kids · The Last Airbender · Bridge to Terabithia · The Shining Mini-Series · Sharknado · Devil · Dawn of the Commercials · Man of Steel · Top 12 Santa Clauses · Eight Crazy Nights · The Christmas Tree |
| 2014: | Face/Off · The Wicker Man · Ghost Rider · Top 11 Strangest Best Couples · Ghost Dad · Disney's Alice in Wonderland · Top 11 Moments You Never Noticed in Ghostbusters · Disney Afternoon · Foodfight · Swan Princess · The Lorax · Old vs. New: Spider-Man · Blues Brothers 2000 · Jurassic Park 3 · After Earth · Bloodrayne · The Purge · Top 11 Trailers · Small Soldiers · The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement · Ghost Rider 2 · Top 11 Worst Avatar Episodes · Top 11 Best Avatars (with Dante Basco) · Maximum Overdrive · Top 11 New Halloween Classics · Monster Squad · Rise of the Commercials · Forest Warrior · Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (NC) · Christmas Story 2 · Care Bears Nutcracker |
| 2015: | The Matrix · The Animatrix · The Matrix Reloaded · The Matrix Revolutions · AVGN Movie · Mamma Mia! · The Haunted Mansion · Daredevil · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) · Demolition Man · Top 11 Animaniacs Episodes · Legend of Zorro · The Ewoks Cartoon - Was That Real? · Fantastic Four · Cowboys of Moo Mesa - Was That Real? · Sharkboy and Lavagirl · Small Wonder - Was That Real? · Jupiter Ascending · Jurassic World · Top 11 TV Show Intros · Planet of the Apes · Osmosis Jones · Garfield: The Movie · Pixels · The Smurfs · Hammerman - Was That Real? · Mad Max: Fury Road · Event Horizon · Children of the Corn · Hocus Pocus · Conquest of the Commercials · Dragon's Lair · We Wish You a Turtle Christmas · Christmas with the Kranks · Star Wars: The Force Awakens (NC) |
| 2016: | The Happening · Top 11 Funniest Shyamalan Moments · Lady in the Water · Labyrinth · Spawn · Cats & Dogs · The Phantom of the Opera · The Adventures of Pluto Nash · Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain - Was That Real? · Batman v Superman · Blade · Old vs. New: Cinderella · Spy Kids 3D: Game Over · Jem and the Holograms (2015) · The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat - Was That Real? · Scooby-Doo 2 · Alvin and the Chipmunks · Ghostbusters (2016) · Teddy Ruxpin Live Action Series - Was That Real? · Wild Wild West · The 3rd Animated Titanic Movie (Tentacolino) · The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle · Stephen King's Dreamcatcher · Freddy vs. Jason · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows · Battle of the Commercials · Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas · Top 12 Christmas Commercials · I'll Be Home For Christmas · Rogue One: A Star Wars Story |
| 2017: | Top 11 Best Movie Sequels · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel · Top 11 Worst Movie Sequels · The Smurfs 2 · Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties · Cool World · Old vs. New: Evil Dead · Top 11 WTF Alternate Endings · Balto · Fant4stic · Clockstoppers · The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas · Suicide Squad Trailer · Suicide Squad · Alien vs. Predator · Transformers: The Last Knight NON-Review · Wonder Woman · Norm of the North · Cats Don't Dance · Hulk (2003) · Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory · Monkeybone · G.I. Joe: The Movie · The Sorcerer's Apprentice · DuckTales (2017) · Eragon · Kangaroo Jack · A Goofy Movie · Green Lantern · Scary Godmother · It (2017) · Halloween (2007) · The Mummy · The Mummy (2017) · Dragonball Evolution · Bangarang · War of the Commercials · Super Mario Bros.: The Anime · Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa · A Muppet Family Christmas · Home Alone 2: Lost in New York · Star Wars: The Last Jedi |
| 2018: | Mars Attacks! · Lara Croft: Tomb Raider · Top 11 Good Adam Sandler Movies · Yogi Bear · Horton Hears a Who · Batman Forever · Freakazoid · Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked · Maleficent · Alice Through the Looking Glass · The Jungle Book (2016) · Beauty and the Beast (2017) · Woody Woodpecker · Jack and Jill · An American Tail: Fievel Goes West · Starship Troopers · The Emoji Movie · Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins · The Boss Baby · The Spirit · Deadpool 2 · Chicken Little · The Angry Birds Movie · Do the Bartman · Fox Kids · The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen · Bartok the Magnificent · Mission: Impossible 2 · Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie (NC) · Doom · Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles · Ghostbusters 2 · Old vs. New: Teen Titans vs. Teen Titans Go · Freddy Got Fingered · Big Fat Liar · Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer · Grading Cartoon Show Intros · Sleepwalkers · Top 11 Stephen King Movies · Van Helsing · Rubber · The Powerpuff Girls Movie · Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom · A Wrinkle in Time · Escape from the Commercials · A Christmas Story Live · The Search for Santa Paws · The Nutcracker (2010) · Elf Bowling: The Movie |
| 2019: | Max Payne · Robocop (2014) · The Black Cauldron (NC) · Top 11 Funniest Siskel and Ebert Reviews · The Country Bears · Donnie Darko · X-Men: The Animated Series · X-Men · X2: X-Men United · X-Men: The Last Stand · X-Men Origins: Wolverine · Best F(r)iends · Tom and Jerry and the Wizard of Oz · Hop · Stuart Little · Toonami · Balto II: Wolf Quest · Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within · Man on the Moon · Mary Poppins Returns · Movie 43 · Alien 3 · Barney's Great Adventure · Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief · Constantine · Kim Possible · The Lion King · Blade II · That Darn Cat · The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones · Underworld · Mulan II · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip · The Pest · The Wall · Aladdin (2019) · Hannibal · It: Chapter Two · Demon Knight · Venom · Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island · Justice League · Frozen · Planet of the Commercials · The Grinch (2018) · The Most INSANE Christmas Rom Com · The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause · Die Hard |
| 2020: | Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker · Beverly Hills Chihuahua · Con Air · Duckman · Supergirl · Spider-Man · Spider-Man 2 · Spider-Man 3 · The Amazing Spider-Man · The Amazing Spider-Man 2 · Trolls · Dolittle · Frozen II · Independence Day: Resurgence · Critters · Alpha and Omega · Avatar (2009) · Stuart Little 2 · Superman Returns · Totally Spies!: The Movie · Elektra · Alita: Battle Angel · Mouse Hunt · Battleship · The Hunchback of Notre Dame · The Lion King (2019) · The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland · The Animated Lord of the Rings · The Iron Giant · The Bill & Ted Movies · Mulan · Playing with Fire · Problem Child · Pokémon Detective Pikachu · X-Men: Apocalypse · The Lost Boys · The Stand · The Witches · Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark · Tusk · Curse of the Commercials · Sucker Punch · Krampus · The Muppet Christmas Carol · Deck the Halls · Batman Returns · Home Alone 4 |
| 2021: | Shark Tale · The FREAKIEST Raggedy Ann Movie · The Mummy Returns · Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles · 9 · Strange Magic · The Terminator · Terminator 2: Judgment Day · Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines · Terminator Salvation · Terminator Genisys · Terminator: Dark Fate · Wonder Woman 1984 · Freaked · The Prince of Egypt · Blade: Trinity · Mulan (2020) · Tom and Jerry (2021) · Scooby-Doo: Curse of the Lake Monster · Who Framed Roger Rabbit · The Banana Splits Movie · Ready Player One · Men in Black II · An American Tail · Monty Python's The Meaning of Life · Cats · Jetsons: The Movie · Atlantis: The Lost Empire · Mystery Men · X-Men: Dark Phoenix · Cinderella III: A Twist in Time · Top 11 Movies Saved by the Ending · The Mask · The Nightmare Before Christmas · The Ring · Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost · The Lawnmower Man · Leap! · Space Jam: A New Legacy · A Series of Unfortunate Events · Commercials Resurrection · Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas · The Polar Express · Home Alone 5: The Holiday Heist · Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever · Reindeer Games |
| 2022: | Old · Birds of Prey · Rango · Daphne & Velma · Pan · Tarzan · National Treasure · Return to Oz · Batman Begins · The Dark Knight · The Dark Knight Rises · Batman · Batman: Mask of the Phantasm · Hancock · Bobbleheads: The Movie · Lilo & Stitch · Pinocchio: A True Story · The Rugrats Movie · Spider-Man: No Way Home · The Brave Little Toaster · Tombstone · Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole · The Fifth Element · Garfield and Friends · The Batman · Addams Family Values |
| DVD Exclusives: | Turkish Rambo · Video Game Review 2: Blues Brothers (SNES) · Reefer Madness · Doomsday Machine · NC - Kickassia · NC - Suburban Knights · NC - To Boldly Flee · NC - Live Review of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 · Paranoia · Cup of Idiocy (Doug's Old Home Movies) · Night of the Living Dead · The Cinema Snob Movie · The Review Must Go On Review |
| Theme months | NostalgiaWeen · Christmas · Annual Theme Month |
Source: https://thatguywiththeglasses.fandom.com/wiki/The_Terminator
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